Erstwhile Muse

May 12, 2004

'Round and 'round the metaphoric bush

Synchronicity strikes again...

Just in case you were wondering, let me assure you that you more than likely do not want to do a Google Image Search for the word scrotum with SafeSearch turned off. It's just not a pretty sight.

Now, I can hear some of you asking yourselves Why in the hell is he telling us this? Why would I care to conduct such a search?, or more aptly Why is he looking up pictures of scrotums?. The answer of course is quite simple; I was on the hunt for the elusive ballrus. More to the point, due to a rather amusing Freudian slip by one of my friends over the weekend, I was in search of the proper images to combine in order to create the world's first photographic evidence of said creature. One of my erstwhile, and I should say more twisted, muses had returned, and I felt a mighty photoshopping—and Adobe can go blow me on this issue—coming on.

In the process of gathering materials for my little project, I naturally came across some photos that were of a more medical, clinical nature. These were usually more disgusting than your standard hairy bobbin' man ass, especially the pictures concerning one of my major pet peeves with modern medical practices, the botched circumcision.

I should make a minor clarification here; it's not soley botched circumcisions that I have a problem with, rather it is the practice of circumcision as a whole that disturbs my sense of logic. The fact that to this day we allow this sort of unnecessary procedure to be performed, non-consensually, gives me the screaming jibbly-jibblies. I have yet to see, read or hear a single compelling argument for this procedure to continue.

Now I can make allowances for religious purposes, since I believe in that whole freedom of religion thing that is supposedly a part of the grand old American Democracy experiment. I won't allow religion to be used as some sort of logical explanation for the procedure, but in general as long as I am left to practice—or not as the case may be—my faith in the manner I see fit, I will gladly allow others the same courtesy. If they wish to mutilate their genitals, more power to them. I have a bit of a problem when they decide, merely for the sake of tradition, to extend the practice to their offspring before the child can decide for himself—I won't discuss the horrible practice of female circumcision at this point—that he wishes to follow to the letter the strictures of the religion. I believe it should be a conscious decision by the owner of the genitals in question.

So the ballrus originally came up on Saturday. It's now Wednesday—well,chronologically Thursday— and I've just recently returned from seeing Sarah perform at Victorian's Midnight Cafe—holy christ do they need a better web design. Ok, a little further research reveals that this is apparently the newer version of their site. Better than the flash monstrosity from before, but not listed on Google, so kinda hard to find if you don't already know them. Still could use some work though, and maybe a little CMS to boot. She was out singing and playing at the open mic night as an audition; she's looking to get into a band right now, hopefully it goes well for her. I had a pretty good time; cute girls with short haircuts and guitars will do that for me, but I am easily amused.

During my—ahem—evening constitutional I decided to do a little light reading from Robert Anton Wilson's book Everything Is Under Control. I love this book for some of the stranger theories it brings to light, and it's great to read when you have just a few minutes. Just open it up at a random point and start reading whatever entries you come across; this book is a classic example of the power of hyperlinks though, this work would be so much more entertaining with a proper link structure. This is what I was doing when lo and behold, which entry do I turn to first?

That's right, page 112:Circumcision Conspircacy.

To truly bring this post 'round in multiple circles, I would like to introduce those of you who are unaware of it to Wilson's Guns and Dope Party—not to be confused with the Drugs and Dog-Culling ticket. Go there and marvel at a truly ingenious new political theory, as well as many images of ostriches which have been—dare I say—photoshopped ?



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